Updated: Jun 4, 2020
This is a continuation of my Induction blog which I’ll link here.
The midwife broke my waters at 2155 and actually I couldn’t feel this at all. I was scared as it sounds pretty brutal having them broke. But rest assured it was fine and the process didn’t hurt any more than the other examinations which of course aren’t comfortable. Once she broke my waters I could feel the fluid, it was hot! I mentioned this to the midwife as I wasn’t expecting them to be so warm and that’s when she told me they’re around 37.5 degrees.She then put a few pads on the floor because she said the water would continue to trickle out of me once I stood up. I couldn’t remember this from when I had Daisy.
It’s so strange because when we arrived into our labour room it was like checking into a hotel. We were offered fresh cold water with a straw and tea and coffee. Honestly it was the strangest feeling. We were shown the bathroom, made to feel comfortable and there was a big bed in the middle of the room! The lights were really dimmed and dark. It was instantly relaxing. I say this because I’d just spent a desperate week on the ward where the lights don’t get turned off until near midnight! So to have our own privacy at last was a dream.
The midwife explained she was going to give me until 1145pm to see if I’d progressed and if not then I was to have the hormone drip as part of the induction process. She said she’d be with us the whole time until her shift finished, she’d only just come on shift so I guess we had about 10-11 hours with her if needed.
She said she would keep coming back every 15-20 minutes but we could ring the buzzer any time.
At this point I was scared, again, about being left with no pain relief so I asked her to show me the gas and air before she left the room. She also said for us to make ourselves at home and pop some music on if we wanted. I chose a playlist on Spotify called Mood Booster. I didn’t want anything relaxing so there was a few house tracks thrown in for good measure!
I remember looking at the clock and me and my partner having a conversation about what day she might arrive. We said to each other, imagine if she’s be born at midnight.
The midwife came back after 20 minutes and said, I’ve just seen your birth plan. I’ll go and get an aromatherapy diffuser. I was so glad she’d seen my plan because I was too embarrassed to ask! No idea why as she was so lovely and approachable. On the birth plan I’d written that I would prefer a water birth, not to be offered pain relief except gas and air, to have aromatherapy because I love smells, the lights dim and to have skin to skin as soon as babies born.
The lights remained dark, the diffuser was on with essential oils of Lavender, Clary Sage and peppermint and music pumping! We also adjusted the bed so it was really high as the pains I was getting already were best managed standing up with the bed chest height and breathing and bending over slightly so I wanted it all prepped for when the pain really started.
Around 20 minutes after my waters were broke I started getting contractions. They were painful but I could breath through them, just about. I remember getting irritated by some of the songs playing but this just made us giggle after I demanded, half way through a contraction with gritted teeth, for the song to be skipped!
The midwife came in the room twice and the second time said she was going to stay and she started getting everything ready. Maybe she knew I was going to have a baby soon. Of course I had warned her it would be fast as i’d been telling everyone. By this point I also needed gas and air so started to use it.
As soon as the contraction ended I ran to the loo as the gas and air made me feel so sick. I could feel the saliva dribbling in my mouth, you know that feeling when you’re going to puke. Anyway luckily I wasn’t sick because I couldn’t have done it without gas and air and I knew it was too late for anything else.
The contractions started to get more intense and I really needed the gas and air. I remember each contraction I was stood over the bed holding my partners hand and sucking on this gas and air with such force. It took a few goes to use it properly. I was also clamping my legs shut and crossing them in pain and hunching my shoulders up to my ears.
The midwife was talking me through and telling me to relax. I was trying.
I suddenly got very hot. The midwife went and got me a fan and positioned it close to me until I felt cooler but I was sweating.
The midwife must have known the baby was on its way because she kept telling me to unclamp my legs but I couldn’t. She positioned the bed in a way where I could kneel on the bed almost on all fours. This helped but I still couldn’t open my legs. I was still trying to close them. The pressure was immense and I felt out of control in that position.
They needed to check my blood sugar due to my diabetes, but by this point the contractions were as frequent as they were ever going to get. She asked me if I could do it, I remember pricking my finger, squeezing the blood out putting it on the strip and then chucking the kit at my partner and shouting can you bloody do it! Back on the gas and air for the next contraction. My blood sugar was low at 4.8 but nothing to be concerned about.
The position I was in just wasn’t working. I was also sweating profusely. I mean I was uncontrollably sweating. I don’t even think the room was hot but I dripping wet. The midwife said maybe I should take my nightie off. So there I was laying naked. I didn’t even think about this until recently, I can’t believe I was naked. I was naked and I didn’t even care!
I then laid on my back, I felt more relaxed this way. The baby needed monitoring to see if she was ok. So I was strapped up the heart rate monitor. She was as calm as anything the entire time.
The midwife put my legs in stirrups and in hindsight this is the only part I didn’t enjoy. But the midwife knew what was best in that moment, I believe, and I was still struggling to relax and open my legs. Believe it or not, your legs kind of do need to be open if you’re going to have a baby!!
I didn’t get the urge to push like some people get but she said to me let me know when you’re ready to push and then it clicked. So I started pushing with the contractions. I remember feeling like I can’t do it. I even shouted I can’t do it.
The midwife was coaching me through the birth and making sure I was pushing correctly. When it dawned on me I wasn’t able to have gas and air while pushing I remember feeling like, wow I really can’t do this. But of course I could and I did. The midwife did say I could use it between contractions and so I did and I needed the gas and air to hold on to. When I had Daisy I had two birthing partners and two hands to hold but this time I only had one.
I forgot to mention, I’d had my eyes clamped shut ever since I was laid on the bed. Another coping mechanism I suspect as I did this with Daisys birth.
With each push she came down lower and lower. I feel like she was born in about 5 massive pushes. I remember vividly feeling the head crowning and being asked to breath gently and not to push yet. When I finally pushed her body out, I screamed so loud, maybe I screamed oh my god, I can’t remember but it was loud. I feel like I felt every part of her and she was put straight on my bare skin.
I remember crying out, I love you and kissing her. It was absolutely incredible. I then started shaking uncontrollably, shock maybe.
And to our amazement she was born at midnight exactly. Marlie Rose weighing 7.14lb the exact same as Daisy.
I accepted the injection in my leg. I think this is so the placenta can be delivered quicker. We actually asked to see the placenta. She showed us which part had housed our beautiful baby girl for 9 months. She explained if all and it was fascinating and as gross as it may be to some, we found it pretty incredible.
Marlie was placed on my chest immediately. We were warm and cosy and the midwife offered us tea and toast. I was too polite with Daisy and remember declining even though I was starving so I was sure to say yes this time.
We were left to relax. There was no rush to weigh her, check me for wounds, grazes or tears. The midwife left us to be a family. This is when I thought about trying to see if Marlie would latch on the breast. Babies of mothers who had Gestational Diabetes are to be fed almost as soon as they’re born and I couldn’t manage it with Daisy so thought I’d try with Marlie, after all, I’d fed Daisy for 13 months in the end so kind of knew what I was doing.
I never expected her to actually breastfeed straight away though. It was pretty incredible.
The midwife returned with tea, toast and jam and to see me and my baby feeding successfully, I felt so proud as it was an important part for me, I even wrote it on my birth plan that my intentions were to breast feed as soon as she’s born.
After my tea and toast my blood sugar went through the roof and I began shaking again. I had gone a bit too far too soon with the carb and sugar overload but it wasn’t a big deal to me as my baby was safely born.
I can’t remember how long after but it felt like 30 minutes or so, the midwife finished writing her notes and examined me to see if I needed stitches. I was still shaking so gave Marlie to my partner.
Once finished I was offered a shower but I still felt too shaken so In a wheelchair I went and I was wheeled out holding our new baby girl. The proudest parents ever and excited to begin our new journey as a family of four.
I feel like this birth has healed any past trauma I felt about having a fast labour with Daisy. I feel like I was in control the entire time and I trusted my midwife to assist me. The midwife I eventually had when I gave birth to Daisy was amazing so I’m not doubting that but I don’t think I was in the same frame of mind purely because of how fast things went for me. I’m so pleased I’ve documented this journey and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it.