Disclaimer. I am all for being body positive but I was not healthy and I was not happy with my body and it's not who or how I wanted to look and how I wanted to feel so I made a a change.
When ever I talk about fitness I feel like an imposter and slightly ridiculous but for the first time in my life I've been consistent and enjoying exercise so I feel like I absolutely can talk about it! It's been over 120 days of consistent training and I genuinely feel like its a part of me now. I don't need any persuasion to workout any more, I just do it and that's the change. The change is finally finding something that works for me and that I actually like.
I had been unhappy with my body for quite some time. It wasn't anything to do with children or having babies, I actually lost 1 stone during my last pregnancy due to having gestational diabetes and cutting sugar and reducing carbs, not fun but I did it really well. I wanted to change how I looked and felt but didn't know how. I don't like to diet as in, stopping certain foods or restricting myself to meat and two veg and I thought the only way to exercise was to run or go to the gym.
I started running and I enjoyed it but It was hard getting out the house alone with a baby and a toddler and plus, I didn't like it enough to work at it. I also had the fear of seeing people so I'd wait until after dark, not ideal! The gym, well it was shut due to the pandemic but prior to that I had joined the gym on at least 4 occasions and found every excuse under the sun not to go. I found the gym intimidating and expensive. I found it boring too and after starting work in the evenings and no childcare when could I possibly go? I didn't want or like it enough to get up early so I quit!
I walk a lot, so friends kindly used to reassure me, this was fine and surely I would loose weight and be fit because of the amount I moved. But what they didn't see was the amount I was eating and the habits around food. If I was feeling fat (I try to never say fat but it's how I felt), tired or sad then I'd eat, feeling good, I'd treat myself with food. Feeling bored, I'd eat. If I bought a packet of biscuits for example, I couldn't have one, no, I'd eat the whole packet. It also became a habit where I HAD to buy chocolate if I went to a shop like some kind of ritual reminding me of the days where I used to smoke and was addicted to it. I would buy bags of fresh cookies that came in packs of 4 and I would eat one or two and then finish the packet because I didn't want to be caught or ate more than half so didn't want to seem selfish so would then, again, eat them all. My partner would leave chocolate at home or left over cake and I'd eat it, he'd come home to nothing. It was like I HAD to get it out the house and the only way was via my mouth! I did not know the word no. I didn't know when to stop. From the outside I looked healthy because I ate good healthy food in public but again, no one saw the binging. I am telling you now that me binging on family sized chocolate bars amongst other sweet things every day is not healthy. I felt good only while I was eating it so only a few minutes out of my day and then one day back in October 2020 I'd had enough.
I really can't remember exactly what triggered it all but I was absolutely done. A contributing factor was that my Mum passed away 2 months before and I was looking for a focus. I wanted to look after myself and to de-stress and stop thinking. I searched for a PT but I wanted more of a transformation type program. I needed to pay someone to get the job done. I found a PT named Krystle and booked her. I chose her because she had a daughter, she was a women and I could take my baby, no excuses for no childcare while the eldest daughter was at pre-school. I've never spent chunks of money like this but I knew that if there was an option to do one or two sessions I would quit like I always do.
My first PT.
I purchased some gym leggings and borrowed my boyfriends baggy gym top and off I went. I took Marlie (my baby) and we had a consultation. I don't think I'd have gone without Marlie. My confidence was so low and my self esteem lower then ever but she was my security blanket as weird as that sounds. If I felt insecure or nervous I could hold her almost like hiding behind her.
Krystle and I chatted and I told her I wanted stress relief and weight loss. My mindset back in October was to 'get skinny'.
I signed up to Krystles' 6 week program where I was weighed and measured and given a personalised fitness plan including a meal plan bespoke to me. There was quite a bit more technical stuff that went into the process though.
Krystle then went into the PT session. It was all weight training and I was happy to try anything she said. At this point, I already trusted her. I started the session with 2kg weights and a full body workout program.
I went home feeling really positive and excited, not knowing I wouldn't be able to walk for at least a week after!! I remember lowering myself onto the loo my legs were in that much pain! Don't worry, that part doesn't last but it felt good knowing I had worked hard and started moving!!
So it begins.
I was attending Krystles 30 minutes zoom classes in the mornings too at 7:15 and really enjoying them. It didn't take long for me to feel results and see results too. I found taking pictures incredible, I would take new photos every few weeks and look and think wow is that me! The scales didn't change a great deal and even now I've only lost 1 more stone but I have dropped 2 dress sizes.
I was feeling great after the workouts too, mentally buzzed and so happy.
The food came naturally, because I was working so hard working out I didn't want to binge. It gave me a focus and it came a little easy because of how much I was loving the process. I found a new love for getting strong and fit. Lifting weights is what I love and I wouldn't have thought I would have before but I promise its a game changer.
Photo of me before my second child, 6 weeks pregnant but unrecognisable as the person I always was and am today. Completely unhappy in my skin.
Let me break this down for you because I have had to figure this out myself.
'No one is holding you back but yourself' repeat that back!
Honestly if you cannot find 30 minutes in the day for you then you haven't found something you love or don't have the right support around you, support being a good PT to help you find something you love.
I have done every zoom class in the mornings with my two kids. I have been exhausted and been up all night breastfeeding and because I have found a supportive coach and an exercise that I love I just show up. It helps she can see us as it holds you accountable. I've had a few off weeks and she's checked up on me to make sure I'm ok or see if I need additional support. This is why the money I've paid is worth its weight in gold.
I let the children do what they like for 30 minutes and as long as they are safe and happy I do not care because I have never done anything for myself ever! And now I know I am allowed and deserve half hour a day for me. They have got used to it now and it's become part of our morning routine. The children watch tv beside me or get every single toy out and trash the living room but if they are happy then so am I. I've had to stop half way to get one of them a snack or take them to the loo or give them a kiss but it doesn't matter, I keep going and after I feel great.
If I hadn't of paid Krystle I wouldn't be where I am. She has made me fall in love with exercise and its a part of me now. I have realised that I am worth spending money on. I would be in the exact same position I was in back in October 2020 had I have not invested in myself. And I am worth every penny.
March 18th 2021 I have just signed up for another 6 weeks of PTs because I want to be pushed to the next level and I cannot do it alone. Do get in touch with Krystle . Krystle's personal training sessions are bespoke, I don't particularly enjoy cardio but some of my friends who train with her do and so they will have entirely different training sessions to me which is great.
I started with 2kg and honestly it was hard, I am now lifting 7.5kg - 15kg. I feel stronger and fitter than I ever have. I have definition in my legs, arms and back. I am not skinny, I am lean and fit. I aspire to be leaner and fitter NOT SKINNY.
I know you're probably all here for this bit!
In the 6 weeks my results were.
I lost 2.9kg.
0.5 inch off my calves.
0 inch off my arms.
3 inches off my thighs.
2 inches off my hips.
4 inches off my waist.
2 inches off my chest.
My fat pinch went from high to average. I am still classed as overweight according to BMI. I have lost fat and gained muscle.
This was December 2020 and I will let you know where I am after my next 6 week plan in April 2021.
Krystle's details are - https://www.krystlefitness.co.uk she is based in Milton Keynes, contact her for details on travel. But remember her twice daily zooms are for everyone no matter where you live! Her 6 week program is £150 and you get a Personalised practical assessment, one hour PT session weekly with unlimited access to her live workouts, nutrition program and follow up assessment after 6 weeks.